Merz gets introspective in her first poetry collection

By Cyrus Webb (Conversations Book Club Founder and President)
Guest Columnist

Like many first-time authors, Yolanda Merz stayed true to what she knew and released what is probably one of the most introspective volumes I have read in some time.

The Words I Speak takes us into some of the highs and lows of her life, and lets the way she handled the situations be an example for all of us.

The author was born in 1970 in Belize City, Belize yet raised in Southern California. She attributes the way she looks at life to her various experiences, and I have to thank her for that. Talk about having a way with words.

Merz reveals how she has been able to find some closure in experiences by "unlocking the secret of getting out of my own way." (p.52)

Instead of playing the role of the consummate victim, she takes responsibility for the errors in her judgment. But she doesn't allow the things she was affected by to define who she is.

In the poem "My Burden of Grief" she talks about the death of her son and how she struggled to wrap her mind around the tragedy.

Merz writes: "It was more than my fragile mind could conceive. A greater understanding I labored to achieve ... In only three months his purpose was served. The lessons acquired remain well preserved." (p.17)

Pages later in "A Husband's Betrayal," (p.24) she discusses how her mate's infidelity still impacts her when she reflects back on that chapter of her life. "Your ego is bruised, your self-esteem shattered, wondering if what you had ever really mattered ... Finally you acknowledge you're not to blame, but your love for him will never be the same."

Later she takes on the subject of independence. In the introduction to the poem "The Roles that Genders Play" she turns this clever phrase: "Everyone wants to wear the pants, but no one wants to hold the door." (p.40)

One subject that really struck a chord with me was her analysis of forgiveness.

When talking about her poem "Forgive and Forget" she writes this: "To forgive is to allow others to be human and to accept the sincerity of an apology. To forget is to move beyond an offense by putting it behind you and letting go of the anger."

That is sometimes easier said than practiced, but Merz makes the case that "it is essential to the healing process of self and of others." (p.64)

The Words I Speak carries so many jewels for all of us that try to make sense of a world that seems at times to be spiraling out of control. Merz addresses issues and offers solutions that are practical and possible - exactly what we would expect from someone who shares our experiences and has lived to offer her perspective.

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